Three months ago life was moving. We were making spring break plans and summer vacation plans. Then COVID came along and the world suddenly ground to a halt. Every state in the country has restrictions on travel, work and play. The stock market is, well… it’s in the tank. Unemployment is breaking records and many companies won’t make it.
We are all navigating uncharted waters, but that doesn’t mean we should ever lose hope. As I talk with leaders across the country and across industries, I’m hearing similar stories — of frustration, confusion, and circumstances that are entirely overwhelming. But effective leadership in the midst of a pandemic is possible. It just requires that we all lean in to leading with intention and heart.
Here are four steps to get re-centered and help you lead through difficult times:
Turn Off Autopilot
A word that comes up in conversations with all the leaders I coach is autopilot. Leading on autopilot is doing the same thing you have always done — no matter the situation. Even during business as usual, it’s so important to take a step back, turn off your autopilot, and lead with intention.
This pandemic snapped autopilot off for all of us. Yet some are still trying to lead in the same way they always have, trying to push their business without adjusting course. In many companies, this is leading to frustration, anger, sadness and even depression — which is not the way to keep people motivated. Unprecedented times call for new attention and intention when it comes to leading your team.
Acknowledge the Humanity of the Situation
Strong leadership requires that we address the humanity of this unique situation. So many of us are trying to work through completely jarring circumstances: teaching our kids from home, barking dogs on zoom calls, feeling cooped up and trapped… experiences that trigger a huge range of emotions, and many of us simply don’t have access to the things we would normally do to practice self care.
To lead through this, we have to acknowledge the very real struggles that all of us are facing. And to ask how we’re showing up for ourselves and our teams. How are we supporting those we lead? How are we adjusting our expectations to match reality? Are we expecting everyone to perform at “normal” levels, or are we offering the kind of grace and breathing room that will actually help people succeed?
Recognize What YOU Are Feeling
I spoke to a leader this morning who is leading a sales team in a Fortune 500 company, and he is feeling like a caged animal. He has so much drive but nowhere to drive it because the world is on pause. In his whole career if he did X and then Y, he got Z results. All of a sudden, because of the pandemic, there is no Z. And he was able to access his sadness around that today. And that is so brave, and so important.
Sadness is not a word we use in leadership. In her book, The Little Book of Big Emotions: How Five Feelings Affect Everything You Do, Erika Hunter explains that sadness is the feeling that arises when something has been taken from us, when we have lost something we held dear. So much has been taken from us as the result of this pandemic. As Hunter writes, “Feeling sad requires that we relax, wait patiently… and do our best to welcome however sadness appears… Instead of taking action, we have to give in and allow the sorrow to find its way through us. We need to make ourselves vulnerable.”
Just as we need to adjust our expectations for our colleagues, employees, and families, we have to adjust our expectations of ourselves. We all cope with this experience differently, but nobody is (or should be) immune from feelings. And you can’t lead effectively unless you’re aware of how you’re feeling.
Make Conscious Choices
Once we acknowledge which emotions are at play for us, only then do we have the power to choose how to respond. When we’re on autopilot we just keep driving, moving and doing in order not to feel.
Many leaders are struggling to let go of projections and goals that were set pre-crisis. They think if they just work harder or go faster, they can get results — and keep the overwhelming feelings at bay. But this just isn’t true. Our emotions will control us so long as we deny they are there. This looks like angry outbursts, frustration, lack of energy and drive, or feeling stuck.
How are you leading through these tough emotions? Are you adjusting your leadership? Are you still driving and striving in the ways you always have?
I want to challenge you to take some time today and think about what you are feeling during all of this. Fear, anxiety? Sadness, depression? Anger, frustration? Accessing your own emotions and paying attention to how you are still trying to fly on autopilot will give you some clues on what adjustments you can make to show up differently and think outside the box.
Lead Well.